You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
