from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Randomize
