lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
