i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
