Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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