before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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