Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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