No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
