I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
