I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
