PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
