There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
