I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
false alarm. still invincible.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
