it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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