It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
