he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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