He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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