Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
worst night to have a conscience
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
