We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
