remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
i've created a new STD.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
