Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
