Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
