My friends, they love my intelligence
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
