i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
