just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Of course I have a pirate flag
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
