if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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