Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
