Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Randomize
