is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
