what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
