Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
