Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize