You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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