He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
