Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
