my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You have to summon your inner elephant
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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