thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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