we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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