ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
