But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
