It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
