I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
