If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
