Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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