Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
