Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
