I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
