i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
