I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
