I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
